How do you accept an apology when what the person apologizes for is not the reason you are upset? Do you accept the apology for what it is and then just drop it or do you insist on the other person validating your reasons for being mad?
It seems so silly. I feel like I have made the proverbial mountain out of a molehill. But it BOTHERS me.
I had been in a funk all day and thinking about how I am not taken seriously by my family. They think I “play on the computer” all day when the last thing I ever do is PLAY.
Then my “closer than a brother though not my lover” says the wrong thing. When he apologized (today in fact… over a week later…) he explained himself. “Well, I’m one to talk. I play games on my puter all day, too.”
TOO.
I have read article upon article on not allowing your family to take advantage of you. Working at home does not mean NOT working. They call and when I don’t answer, they leave messages and then call again. And again. Or they don’t call. They just come over.
If I don’t respond to emails or messages on the day they send them, I am pummeled with “Why don’t you quit playing around on that computer?” Let me clarify. I’m talking normal work hours here… until I don’t get my work done because of my family and end up having to stay up late.
I am venting. There are no REAL solutions as demanding respect is getting me nowhere. I created monsters by being available at all hours of the day and night and then suddenly, I am not available. My time is still considered their time. My children, both adult and teenagers, my sister, my cousin… my friends.
And I do feel guilty. I am supposed to be able to do it all and I can’t. How dare I do something for ME. I’m “supposed to” live my life for everyone else. Right?
So I get up early in the morning to get things done before anyone calls or comes over….
To find my daughter in the living room with my grandkids sleeping on the floor. “I didn’t want to be bored today, so ******** dropped me off on his way to work.”
She proceeds to talk to me as I try to write. And she talks. And she talks. And she talks. And then the baby wakes up. How I love my precious granddaughter.. How do you say “No”? I tried that once and my daughter cut me off for two weeks.
Okay, so I created the monsters. But how do I fix it now? So aggravated.
*sigh*
